ten years

I was ten years old. 

I was ten years old baking snicker doodles in a one-time cooking class trying to find a hobby. My mom picked me up in so much pain that she was already on her way to the hospital. She was on her way to the hospital but she couldn't forget to pick up her baby. 

She was driving down north county boulevard and pulled over as she could no longer drive. We called my brother who was still 15 years old to come drive mom to the hospital. 

I remember our car parked on the side of the road. I remember my mom going into shock, freezing in an unnatural position. I remember that helpless feeling. I remember crying and jumping up and down outside the car. I remember a lady pulling over because she thought I was flagging her down. I remember there being nothing she could do. 

I don't remember the rest.

I honestly don't. 

I remember an emergency waiting room. I remember being afraid for my mom. 

I remember that feeling in my stomach I still get when I think about ever losing someone close to me. 

Because when you're ten years old you think you could lose your mom to a kidney stone. 

But she'll still pick you up from your cooking class, you can count on that.